Needy Say What???

This morning on the way to the school the youngest informed me that his daddy had told him that we are divorcing because I am needy.

I left him.
I support myself.
His car, phone, home, and employment are provided to him by his parents.

Who is needy?????

Am I Supposed To Make Sure They Are Prepared?

Our middle child had a field trip on a Saturday to an amusement park with her band mates. J & I decided to go along with her and enjoy the day. Since it was K's weekend, I had to pick up said child at his home very early in morning. Upon my arrival, I see her outside by the street waiting for me and excitedly jumping up and down. I notice her shoes. She had her uggs on. Which are NOT safe for amusement parks (nor very nice to the feet in warm weather). Upon my questioning her about her sneakers I learn that (1) they were left at her fathers office 2 days prior, (2) she asked him to bring them home on Friday, and (3) he forgot but KNEW they were still at his office a full 12 hrs before I came to pick her up. He made no attempt to go back and get them. Which left me having her get his office key. Would you like to know what he had the audacity to say to her????

"She better not lose my key!!!"

Really jackass? You couldn't be bothered to make sure she had her damned sneakers after she asked you twice about them and you want to try to turn it on me about possibly losing your damned key?

P.S. Jackass.....ironically I haven't lost my keys since leaving you. What does that tell you???

The Mother's Day Edition

Let me preface this by saying that I do not expect my ex to pay for my Mothers Day gifts and I will never plan on giving them money to buy his Fathers Day gifts. I am a "let's make memories" and a crafty kind of person. So the only thing I wanted for Mother's Day was to enjoy my time with the kids. And we did! However, the ex felt the need to call that evening and start drama. Here is what I overheard on the phone:

C - Hi Daddy. Yea. We did laser tag, I am pretty good at it. Uh huh. Oh? So now we have another reason to be mad at M? Uh huh. Okay, bye Daddy.

No other child got on the phone. M immediately got defensive with C. Apparently there was some sort of shopping trip that had M buying something that Daddy paid for that he claimed he couldn't afford. Well C clarified that Daddy called to say that had M not "snuck" those items in on the conveyor at the store, he could've taken them shopping for Mother's Day. So here are my issues with this:

1. It's his own damned fault he paid for something that he couldn't afford. I saw the receipt because it was emailed to me (long story!) and I had to forward it to him. He didn't get that much so how the hell didn't he notice it to begin with?

2. If it was something he couldn't afford, why didn't he take it back the very next day? Duh!

3. Why is he calling my home with his house drama? That bs is for his house, not mine.

4. Why the fuck would you play your kids against one another like that?


I had to spend that evening explaining to the kids that a gift would not have been near as wonderful as the fun filled day we had together and reassuring that they did nothing to hurt me.

Can anyone say "dickhead much"?

No Fun For You!

Our eldest two are in middle school that offers a lot of really great after school programs. We have always encouraged them to join in and be a part of these activities. Except now the ex has told the eldest two that they are not allowed to spend more than ONE day after school during the half of the week he has them. He claims it cuts into his time. Now let me point out that he works until 5 and that they eldest two are in the programs until about 5:30. On the days he has them, if there is no program that they day they go to his office and are there at 4 pm. So even factoring in that ONE WHOLE HOUR that he has in which he is WORKING (ha....I forgot.....he doesn't really even work!), it's not REALLY cutting into his time.

Why would a parent deny their children their fun and educational after school activities just because they couldn't help make the marriage work? I could share a few theories but I think it boils down to this persons need to play mind games.

Playing Time Keeper

So holidays seem to monkey up our custody seeing as how I do not celebrate the same holidays as my ex. We have it all in writing but often holidays land on an off-weekend and we have to finagle things to make sure everyone has equal amount of time. As it is, with the way Easter and Beltane have fallen....it was simple for the ex to have the kids two weekends in a row and then I have them two weekends in a row and then switch back to every other weekend. I had spoken to the ex about it and on that particular day we had gotten into a fight because of something else, right after we discussed Easter. The middle child did ask me about it right before going to her dads recently and I told her the plan that we had agreed upon before the fight. She stated "I will have to be sure and tell daddy". I had to remind her that (1) I spoke with him already and (2) it's not her job to keep tabs for daddy, she is supposed to be a kid enjoying her youth.

All is well until the other night when the middle child called me while at her daddy's. To explicitly tell me that daddy said I never spoke to him about the weekend situation. While I was dying to start screaming out of frustration, I took a deep breath and stated quite clearly "You are not the person who is supposed to be calling me about this".

I have no idea if he told her to call me but I could hear him in the background and he never made any move to tell her NOT to speak to me about it. Why is our child playing mediator (especially since he is always yelling about how he doesn't want to ever do mediation sessions again)??? Why is he NOT encouraging the children to stay out of the crap between me and him???

Screw You!!!!

So let me set the stage.......we are having a family discussion with the eldest who will be embarking on a new adventure next year when she attends high school. In the course of discussion we turn to the important factor of moving forward in an opportunistic matter despite what friends may want. Here is what happens:

K looks at M and says "sometimes you have to look at your friends and say 'screw you, this is the best opportunity for me'" and I am nodding in absolute agreement. Until he says the rest, "that also includes your parents."

Excuse me? WTF did you just tell our teenage daughter???? We aren't living in a teen movie where we are dictating to her that she must take a career path that matches our own (my ex and I work in the same field), we are simply encouraging her to embrace all the opportunities she can because of her talents and intelligence. Telling your parents to "screw off" is a shot in the fucking foot!

It's Just Not Smart!

Another amazing situation on the 'how dare you move on' scenario:

A tells me that K told him that it was really nice I met someone but not smart to bring a stranger around the children.

What's not smart is to assume that I don't know that person or to try and portray their mother as an imbecile. At some point I was going to meet someone that was worthy of time with my kids. I would know that person well in advance. Yea, they would be a stranger to the kids at first, but not to me. It's impossible to get to know someone without them being a stranger that first time.